What is Depression? Boon or Bane?
Have you ever been in a situation where you're deep down in depression, and there's absolutely nothing anybody can do for you? Numerous therapies and abundant support from family and friends are anything but helpful?
If the answer is YES, then I know exactly how you feel. I, myself have been there and have a first-hand experience of how difficult it is to let go off and move on. And if you still think your depression is worse than mine, then let me tell you what caused mine:
It was that time when I graduated from school, and my life (as an adult) began. Had to face a lot of things for the first time, one of them being the exertion of choosing between what to study and which College to go. A relationship which was slumping for quite some time crumbled. I couldn't help but feel alone when my friends moved out of the town, in search of a better future for themselves, while I was still there. The absence of someone to talk it out and find solutions to the problems. Excessive pressure from the family to find my way to a stable and better future. That disappointment of not being able to live up to your own expectations, let alone anybody else's. All of this was happening around the same time.
I did not know what to figure out first?! Deal with the fresh breakup? Or find a purpose for myself? Try to find a way to stay connected to my old friends, or make new friends instead? All my efforts to assuring my family that I'll take care of my future somehow were going in vain because even I wasn't sure if there was a future. I had this thought of ending my life several times, which is quite common in depression I guess. But I couldn't help but think about what will I lose if I end my life right now? Couldn't help but think about the time when all this will be over, and my life will exactly be the way I want. And even if it is not how I want it to be, it'll still be better than it is now. And this one thought saved my life.
Throughout my depression, I stopped thinking about how things were at that moment and forced myself to think about how things will be. Starting with how things will be a few weeks later, when I'll be over my break-up and might develop feelings for someone, again.
Thinking about how things will be a few months later when I'll be in my new college studying something I wanted to. Sitting in the Cafeteria with my new friends, laughing and having the time of my life.
Thinking about how things will be a few years later when I'll have a job and a generous income, and I'll finally be independent and will be able to take care of my expenses along with my family's.
Thinking about how things will be a few decades later when I'll be sitting in the lawn of my house, watching my children (then grandchildren) play, and thanking myself for not ending this life because of that stupid Depression.
Continually thinking about all these things and feeling good about the life that was yet to happen, motivated me to find a way out of Depression. Also, it helped me find ME. Because during my depression, I used to prefer staying alone in my room, hence, I had a lot of time to have a conversation with myself, to figure out what I actually, genuinely want, and find out who I truly am. Surprisingly, I wasn't the person I thought I was. All those years, I'd managed to compress my true feelings and desires to become what my family and society wanted me to be. I found out that I was the person I've ever wanted to be with, the person whose love I've craved all this while. I needed myself more than anybody or anything else. And I also realized the only person who can help me get out of this Depression was Myself.
When you finally find yourself, your True Self, you'll be surprised to see what you can accomplish. You won't need anybody else, no therapy, no emotional or moral support, nothing. You'll know what you want and what you need, and things will be a cake walk from there.
I am not saying this will happen in a day, maybe not even in a week or a month. It took me around a year and a half to figure this out on my own and to finally be free from the shackles of Depression.
What I am trying to say is that Depression is not a Terminal Disease without a cure. It's not even a disease. It's just a Mental Health Disorder. And this disorder can undoubtedly be placed in order. Hence, the advantage of having Depression rather Cancer is that you won't Die. It's just a state of mind, a phase, a temporary one to be more specific. And this phase is going to end as soon as you want it to end. At the risk of sounding a little impractical, I'd like to say that it's YOU who decide to continue being depressed or crush it hard.
In my case, it certainly proved to be a great BOON. And this will sound a bit absurd, but, Depression isn't a bad thing, you know. It's true that sometimes the worst situations take you to the Best places. I don't know if it is best or not, but clearly, I am in a better place now.
Therefore, you should have a conversation with yourself. It's imperative that you know what you want and who you are. Ask yourself what exactly went wrong. Take your help to find a way out of this. And you'll be Fine, and at a better place than ever before, I Promise.
If the answer is YES, then I know exactly how you feel. I, myself have been there and have a first-hand experience of how difficult it is to let go off and move on. And if you still think your depression is worse than mine, then let me tell you what caused mine:
It was that time when I graduated from school, and my life (as an adult) began. Had to face a lot of things for the first time, one of them being the exertion of choosing between what to study and which College to go. A relationship which was slumping for quite some time crumbled. I couldn't help but feel alone when my friends moved out of the town, in search of a better future for themselves, while I was still there. The absence of someone to talk it out and find solutions to the problems. Excessive pressure from the family to find my way to a stable and better future. That disappointment of not being able to live up to your own expectations, let alone anybody else's. All of this was happening around the same time.
 |
| Photo by Asdrubal luna on Unsplash |
Throughout my depression, I stopped thinking about how things were at that moment and forced myself to think about how things will be. Starting with how things will be a few weeks later, when I'll be over my break-up and might develop feelings for someone, again.
Thinking about how things will be a few months later when I'll be in my new college studying something I wanted to. Sitting in the Cafeteria with my new friends, laughing and having the time of my life.
Thinking about how things will be a few years later when I'll have a job and a generous income, and I'll finally be independent and will be able to take care of my expenses along with my family's.
Thinking about how things will be a few decades later when I'll be sitting in the lawn of my house, watching my children (then grandchildren) play, and thanking myself for not ending this life because of that stupid Depression.
 |
| Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash |
When you finally find yourself, your True Self, you'll be surprised to see what you can accomplish. You won't need anybody else, no therapy, no emotional or moral support, nothing. You'll know what you want and what you need, and things will be a cake walk from there.
 |
| Photo by Jamie Brown on Unsplash |
What I am trying to say is that Depression is not a Terminal Disease without a cure. It's not even a disease. It's just a Mental Health Disorder. And this disorder can undoubtedly be placed in order. Hence, the advantage of having Depression rather Cancer is that you won't Die. It's just a state of mind, a phase, a temporary one to be more specific. And this phase is going to end as soon as you want it to end. At the risk of sounding a little impractical, I'd like to say that it's YOU who decide to continue being depressed or crush it hard.
In my case, it certainly proved to be a great BOON. And this will sound a bit absurd, but, Depression isn't a bad thing, you know. It's true that sometimes the worst situations take you to the Best places. I don't know if it is best or not, but clearly, I am in a better place now.
Therefore, you should have a conversation with yourself. It's imperative that you know what you want and who you are. Ask yourself what exactly went wrong. Take your help to find a way out of this. And you'll be Fine, and at a better place than ever before, I Promise.
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